he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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