there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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