Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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