Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
