I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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