plz talk dirty to me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
