my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
COCAINE IS GR8
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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