We won't sleep together?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
