this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We named our party play list daddy issues
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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