My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
