Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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