In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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