Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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