Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
