margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
