I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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