I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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