On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize