I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
