she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
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its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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