dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
