Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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