...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
