If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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