"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize