Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
