Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
