Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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