Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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