I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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