You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
