He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
