We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
