tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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