its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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