You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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