definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
