Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
