Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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