your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
