I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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