just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
