Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
