I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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