Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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