My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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