He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
