I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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