he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Omg I joined a choir last night...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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