i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
