Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
