I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
