No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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