You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
