hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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