State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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