problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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