nut hugger
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
