um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
